Great Retorts!

When in England at a fairly large conference, Colin Powell was asked by
the Archbishop of Canterbury if our plans for Iraq were just an example
of 'empire building' by George Bush. He answered by saying, "Over the
years, the United States has sent many of its fine young men and women
into great peril to fight for freedom beyond our borders. The only
amount of land we have ever asked for in return is enough to bury those
that did not return."
It became very quiet in the room.

Then there was a conference in France where a number of international
engineers were taking part, including French and American. During a
break one of the French engineers came back into the room saying "Have
you heard the latest dumb stunt Bush has done? He has sent an aircraft
carrier to Indonesia to help the tsunami victims. What does he intend to
do, bomb them?" A Boeing engineer stood up and replied quietly: "Our
carriers have three hospitals on board that can treat several hundred
people; they are nuclear powered and can supply emergency electrical
power to shore facilities; they have three cafeterias with the capacity
to feed 3,000 people three meals a day, they can produce several
thousand gallons of fresh water from sea water each day, and they carry
half a dozen helicopters for use in transporting victims and injured to
and from their flight deck.. We have eleven such ships; how many does
France have?" Once again, dead silence.

A U.S. Navy Admiral was attending a naval conference that included
Admirals from the U.S., English, Canadian, Australian and French Navies.
At a cocktail reception, he found himself standing with a large group of
Officers that included personnel from most of those countries. Everyone
was chatting away in English as they sipped their drinks but a French
admiral suddenly complained that, whereas Europeans learn many
languages, Americans learn only English." He then asked, "Why is it that
we always have to speak English in these conferences rather than
speaking French?' Without hesitating, the American Admiral replied
"Maybe it's because the Brits, Canadians, Aussies and Americans arranged
it so you wouldn't have to speak German". You could have heard a pin