Elderly

============

Doctor was addressing a large audience in Tampa. "The material we put
into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here,
years ago. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining.
Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High fat diets can be disastrous, and
none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our
drinking water.
But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all
have, or will, eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that
causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?"
After several seconds of quiet, a 75-year-old man in the front row
raised his hand, and softly said, "Wedding Cake."


--------------------------------

An elderly gentleman of 83 arrived in Paris by plane. At the French
customs desk, the man took a few minutes to locate his passport in his
carry-on bag.
"You have been to France before, monsieur?" the customs officer asked,
sarcastically. The elderly gentleman admitted he had been to France
previously. "Then you should know enough to have your passport ready."
The American said, "The last time I was here, I didn't have to show it."
"Impossible. Americans always have to show their passports on arrival in
France!" The American senior gave the Frenchman a long hard look. Then
he quietly explained. "Well, when I came ashore at Omaha Beach on D-Day
in 1944 to help liberate this country, I couldn't find any Frenchmen to
show it to."


--------------------------------

Bob, a 70-year-old, extremely wealthy widower, shows up at the Country
Club with a breathtakingly beautiful and very sexy 25 year- old blonde
who knocks everyone's socks off with her youthful sex appeal and charm.
She hangs onto Bob's arm and listens intently to his every word. His
buddies at the club are all aghast. At the very first chance, they
corner him and ask, "Bob, how did you get the trophy girlfriend?" B ob
replies, "Girlfriend?
She's my wife!"
They're
amazed, but continue to ask. "So, how did you persuade her to marry
you?" "I lied about my age", Bob replies "What, did you tell her you
were only 50?"
Bob smiles and says, "No, I told her I was 90."


--------------------------------

A group of Americans were traveling by tour bus through Holland. As they
stopped at a cheese farm, a young guide led them through the process of
cheese making, explaining that goat's milk was used. She showed the
group a lively hillside where many goats were grazing. "These" she
explained "are the older goats put out to pasture when they no longer
produce." ; She then asked, "What do you do in America with your old
goats?" A spry old gentleman answered, "They send us on bus tours!"