The Diary

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A Dog's Diary......

8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite!
12:00 pm - Lunch! mmmmm My favorite!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk Bones! My favorite snack!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

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A Cat's Daily Diary

Day 983 of my captivity..............

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. 

They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.

Although, I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.

In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today, I decapitated a mouse and dropped it's headless body at their feet.  I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of.  Sadly, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am.   grrrrrrrrrrrrrr

This evening, there was some sort of assembly of their accomplices.  I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event.  However, I could hear the noises and smell the food.  I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.'  I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.

Today, I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking.  I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. 

The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return.  He is obviously retarded.

The bird has got to be an informant.  I observe him communicating with the guards regularly.  I am certain that he reports my every move.  My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe --- for now................

One day I will escape!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!